"You're a Fag" - Using Anti-Gay Language to Promote Masculinity

Many men, particularly those who are emotionally insecure, fear being seen as or with someone who is homosexual. Homosexuality in general, in America, is a topic that is apprehended. Men use homosexual epithets to control each other's actions, behaviors and even thoughts. If a man (i.e.: college frat boy) is perceived as being too emotional, too needy or too feminine, he is often called a 'fag' - even if he is a known heterosexual. The fear alone of being perceived as a fag is something that is enough of a reminder to change one's behavior and act more masculine. 

The fag epithet is exceptionally popular with middle and high school boys. (You can hear college-aged males use it too, although not as often in my experience.) A boy calling his friend a fag when his friend starts to act too much like a girl not only reminds him to be masculine but it serves as a tool of heterosexual empowerment in both the name-caller and the 'fag'. Being called a 'girl' is bad enough as a school boy (or so I've read) - but it's easily shrugged off as a stupid remark. But being called a fag is as terrifying (as rumors may spread) as it is humiliating - and it seems to be a difficult reputation to prove otherwise. Once associated as someone who acts like a fag, the school boy will need to prove his masculinity to himself and his peers in order to regain control over the social situation. 

This leads my masculinity discussion to one about male bonding and male joking.....